“Now That I Have Seen, I Am Responsible”

 I had meant to start this blog ever since school ended. However, one month later, I still hadn’t written anything. Perhaps I was waiting for my exhaustion from final exams and three road trips to subside. Or maybe I was just waiting for the right moment. Whatever the reason, I feel compelled to write today.

I leave for Rwanda in exactly 3 months and 3 days (I’ve had a countdown going on my computer for the past year, no joke). This dream, which has been building slowly ever since my first trip in 2009 is finally becoming a reality and I couldn’t be more excited. Rwanda has been on my mind every day since I left it two years ago. But how can I even try and convey to you how much this country means to me? I’ve participated in numerous presentations, explaining my experiences in Rwanda, but I find that my words are not enough to tell the audience my story. When people ask me, “Why Rwanda?” I feel that my explanation is inadequate. Today, I found the rights words, and even though they are borrowed, they are powerful nonetheless. 

I have done many Google searches with ‘Rwanda’ in the search bar.  The majority of sites at the top of the list deal with the Rwandan genocide, an atrocity that claimed the lives of millions. But today, I discovered something much different than the news reports and pictures. It was a YouTube clip of a song about Rwanda. Brooke Fraser, a folk-pop musician from New Zealand wrote the song after travelling to Rwanda in 2005. Albertine, which recounts a genocide survivor’s story and describes the listener’s duty to keep the story alive, harmonized perfectly with my struggle to answer the question why.

“Albertine”

I am sitting still

I think of Angelique

Her mothers voice over me

And the bullets in the wall where it fell silent

And on a thousandth hill, I think of Albertine

There in her eyes what I don't see with my own

Rwanda

Now that I have seen, I am responsible

Faith without deeds is dead

Now that I have held you in my own arms, I cannot let go till you are

I am on a plane across a distant sea

But I carry you in me

and the dust on, the dust on, the dust on my feet

Rwanda

I will tell the world, I will tell them where I've been

I will keep my word

I will tell them Albertine

I am on a stage, a thousand eyes on me

I will tell them, Albertine

I will tell them, Albertine

As I watched this video, and see the cement walls of a Rwandan classroom, the landscape, the faces of children, I remember. I remember the places I visited, the people I met, the stories I heard, and the unspoken promise I made to them all. I promised to tell the world. I have been given a stage and I intend to use it. Why? Because now that I have seen, I am responsible.